the art of slowing down
I’ve always loved the sound of crashing waves. Whenever we’re on a beach vacation, I leave my window open to fall asleep and wake up to the sound of crashing waves. It’s my default setting on all of our sound machines. There’s a little beach spot that takes me 8 more minutes on the way home than my normal route. So why on a day when I don’t NEED to get home right away do I feel that initial anxiety and guilt for taking this route? There’s that nagging pull of if my kids are at daycare I need to be productive every second of the time, but there’s also the default setting of “I have so much to do.” But today, I did it. I fought back against the guilt and anxiety and I took the beach route. And this time, I even got out of the car, walked down to the beach and took a moment to feel gratitude. And I timed it- slowing down took 15 minutes extra out of my day. But what i gained? After feeling in a bit of a writing funk, I sat in my car hungrily writing this very blog, full of ideas and inspiration for future posts.
Truth moment… we are addicted to hurry. To overwhelm. To always being in a rush. How many times do you catch yourself saying “hurry up” to your kids even though you don’t actually have to be somewhere at a specific time (guilty), rushing them through their morning routine instead of enjoying and being present in their lives?
In his book “the Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” John Mark Comer encourages us to once in a while get in the slow lane- whether we’re at the grocery store or stuck in traffic, a game to play with yourself to start to break yourself from the addiction of hurry. And I realized how often I do that, my brain is addicted to finding the fastest and most efficient route, analyzing the pace of the people in the line, counting the items they have.
Earlier this week, my mom and I were headed back from a Dr’s appointment, stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, looking for the lane with the shortest route, even though we weren’t in a rush to be anywhere at a specific time. Then I stopped and paused, and I decided to just enjoy my time with her, a rare time where we actually got to TALK. Strategizing for the fast lanes the whole time might have shaved 5 mins off our total drive… but it would have COSTED me much more time being present with my mom, time that I don’t ever want to take for granted.
Listen I’m all about efficiency where it’s warranted. But if you were working on a tech solution that would give you back 30 percent of your time, for an upfront added 5 hours to this week, wouldn’t you take it?? So why are we rushing through life instead of slowing down to enjoy it and the people in it?
I found that after I was laid off, even though I no longer had a job I had to be at a specific time for, I was still rushing through my mornings and it took me a while to learn how to slow down. And yes, there’s a time and a place for hurry. It’s not a black or white thing; anti-hustle culture does not have to equal moving to a secluded beach and getting rid of all technology. You don’t have to choose between being productive OR resting. Rather, I’ve learned through this year that I can still be productive, and am actually my MOST productive, when I learn to identify what moments we need to hustle for and what moments are best to pause and breathe. Learning to slow down actually brings more energy, creativity and quality to my work. Constantly being in that rush mode with every facet of our life isn’t sustainable, and at some point we burn out, and for some of us- we continue to repeat that crash and burn cycle over and over until it takes something scary to awaken us. I do my best work when I build in time for rest and enjoyment, and that doesn’t always mean to have a massage or bubble bath- sometimes it means taking the long route home so I can smell the ocean water or looking at traffic as a blessing to get to spend more time with my mom.
If you resonated with any of this, know that releasing the hold hustle culture has on us is something that will take time. And it takes time because we are truly going against the grain from society’s norm and default. I am still working on it! But know that you CAN be productive and quick when you need to be, all while taking the time to slow down. If you want to give it a try, here are 5 actionable ways you can start to learn the art of slowing down:
Challenge yourself to drive the more scenic route home every once in a while. If you find yourself resisting due to time, slow down to really ask yourself if you need to be somewhere at a specific time and what would you GAIN from the scenic route?
Take a walk WITHOUT distractions. No podcasts, no music. Just be present and truly take in your surroundings.
Challenge yourself, even for a day, to not use the word “hurry up” with your kids.
Identify a day where you have a little more leeway on time, maybe even give yourself an extra 15 minutes padding time, and allow yourself to be present in your family morning routine rather than rushing through the routine. Just try this for one day to notice the difference it makes to the rest of your day!
And if I can give ONE tip that will make the biggest difference in the day… DO NOT TOUCH YOUR PHONE UNTIL YOU TAKE SPACE FOR YOU. Even if it’s just 5 minutes and you build up from there. If you are a mama who’s kids are early risers, have present time with them before reaching for your phone. Don’t let the world dictate your day before you have a chance to decide how you want to show up.
